Why Does It Never Feel Like Enough?
Have you ever hit a big milestone—at work, at home, or even in your personal life—and thought, “Holy crap! I can't wait for ____ to see this”? Maybe you got through a tough day without snapping at someone, crushed it in a meeting, or finally got out of bed without hitting snooze three times. It’s a big deal!
But what if no one notices or mentions it?
Does that little voice creep in, whispering that it’s not good enough or doesn’t count?
Seeking external validation is something most of us do, especially as ambitious women. We spend so much time giving, achieving, and managing everything for everyone, but we often wait for someone else to tell us we’re doing a good job.
Here’s the thing: It’s completely natural to want recognition. If you’ve ever taken the Love Languages quiz, you might find that “Words of Affirmation” is how you experience love.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone to tell you you’re doing great.
The problem is, when your confidence and self-worth depend on external validation, you get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, anxiety, and overwhelm.
That’s not a fun place to be—and you don’t need to stay there.
Through coaching, I help high-achieving, ambitious women shift from craving approval to building unshakable confidence, self-worth, and resilience—so you can feel proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished, no matter who’s watching.
Why You Crave Validation From Others
It makes sense that external validation feels so powerful:
It’s how you learned self-worth. Think back to when your parents or teachers said, “Good job!” or “I’m proud of you!” It felt great, right? But it may have also taught you to rely on recognition to feel good about yourself.
It feels like a connection. When someone notices your success or pays you a compliment, it feels like you belong.
It fills a gap. If you’re not feeling fully confident in yourself yet, hearing praise can act as a quick confidence boost. But it doesn’t last.
Compliments and External Validation Don't Last
Even though it feels good to hear someone say, “You’re doing amazing,” relying on their approval keeps you from owning your power.
When you constantly look outside yourself for validation, you might notice these patterns:
Your self-worth feels fragile. Your mood rises and falls based on a compliment—or a lack of one.
You struggle with decisions. You second-guess yourself, waiting for others to tell you you’re on the right track.
You play small. Instead of chasing what lights you up, you stick to what feels “acceptable," what you think others believe you should do, or what they believe is right.
This constant need for validation can leave you feeling frustrated, exhausted, and disconnected from what you truly want.
Erin's Story
Erin Washington has always been a high achiever— She's a former D1 soccer player, a super mom, and she balances her career, family, and personal goals like a pro. She believes in her abilities and feels confident in what she brings to the table.
But deep down, she craves one thing: her husband's approval.
Despite her success—founding The Blue Butterflies to promote body positivity and landing celebrity interviews on her top 1% podcast —she only wanted for him to notice and say, “You’re amazing.” No matter what she accomplished, it never felt like enough.
Erin joined me for a live coaching call on the More Than Anxiety Podcast. where she shared her struggles with external validation, self-worth, and feeling enough. I asked her, “What’s your worth if you’re naked and alone in the woods?”
That question was key. In one moment Erin had a new outlook on her value that didn’t depend on doing more or proving herself—it was only about who she was.
Through coaching, Erin has a new way to redefine success on her terms and feel confident in her worth, no matter who recognizes it.
How Coaching Helps: Building Confidence and Self-Worth
Coaching isn’t about getting more likes or compliments. It’s knowing how to build confidence and it's about helping you value and love yourself while redefining success on your terms. Here’s how:
Find the Beliefs Holding You Back - We’ll explore the stories you tell yourself about why you need validation, uncover where those beliefs came from, and rewrite them in a way that feels true and empowering.
Challenge and Change Your Self-Talk - Coaching helps you trust your intuition and value instead of other people's opinions.
Build Resilience Against Criticism - Not everyone will cheer you on, and that’s okay. I’ll help you develop the emotional tools and resilience to handle judgment and indifference without breaking your confidence.
Celebrate Yourself—Your Way - You’ll learn to acknowledge your success and achievements in ways that feel authentic and fun for you so you stop relying on others to feel proud.
What Happens When You Stop Seeking Approval?
When you stop looking for external validation and start building self-confidence, everything changes:
You feel less anxiety about what others think.
You trust your instincts, knowing your decisions align with your values.
You show up as your authentic self—and people notice your success without you trying.
This confidence ripples into every area of your life. You have stronger relationships, better communication, and the stress of people-pleasing disappears.
Ready To Learn How?
You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you how amazing you are.
If you’re tired of chasing everyone else's approval and ready to feel confident, proud, and at peace—just being yourself—schedule a call with me.
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