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Writer's pictureMegan Devito

Why You Don't Have What You Want

And how you can get it!

Get comfortable.

Close your eyes.

Take a few minutes before you read on.

Let yourself fall back to a time where you were confident in who you are.

Maybe it was when you were little and imagined would be when you grew up.

Notice how you pictured life and how excited you were about your future.

Go ahead. I'll wait.




When I was little I wanted to be a teacher. I daydreamed about making fancy bulletin boards and writing on the chalkboard. (Yes, I am that old.) During high school I was an athletic trainer and thought that physical therapy was more my style but anxiety was calling the all shots back then so I quickly transferred schools, changed my major, and circled back to education: all the while knowing that I was a really good teacher and it wasn't where I was supposed to be.


After 20 years of teaching, I finally stepped away only a month ago to become a full time life coach and I've never felt more in line with who I know I am. I've always known I was meant to do something other than teach in a classroom and that something big was waiting for me, I just had no idea what it was or how I would ever get there.


What about you?


Did you stick with the big dreams that you had as a child or did you change directions?

Maybe you're like me and you didn't believe in yourself and settled or gave up.

Perhaps you also had incredible anxiety that kept you locked in survival mode.

Maybe you nailed it and are exactly where you belong.

Or, maybe you have no idea what you wanted to be and you still have no idea.


What held you back? Was it

the fear of failure?

thinking you're too broke to take the next step?

comparing yourself to other's success?

feeling ungrateful or unworthy for what you already had?

thinking there isn't enough time to do more?


Whatever the reason, I'm about to challenge your belief in yourself and what you are capable of achieving.


Let's talk about fantastic failure!


It took over 40 years but I finally learned, I can do anything I want once I DECIDE to do it and to embrace the suck. It sounds corny and cliche, right?

It's not.


If you've ever pulled a Megan (that's me, BTW) and avoided failing by giving up before you could fall on your face, which is totally failing in advance, it's time you accept that failure is powerful.


Failure is forward motion.

Failure is necessary!


Give up the thought that failing means you're stupid, weak, incapable, judged, or anything else and fail on repeat. Make it fantastic and BIG because when you do big things, you learn in big ways that lead to ENORMOUS successes!


Make it a point to do something new and fail hard this week!

S T R E T CH yourself outside of your comfort zone.

Then do it again right away.

Keep failing and learning until you nail it.


Moving on to money.


I harbored sad sack money stories for years. If I'm being honest, I still work through these stories about myself and my relationship to money and that is okay! I'm making progress and I love where I'm headed.


Like sex, religion, and politics, money can be a very taboo topic. Here's the thing, money is everywhere and it offers amazing opportunities! Although it seems scarce at times, people find funds and use money for wonderful things all the time. Spending money is simply and exchange of energy and we invest this energy in what is important to us. When something is important, we can find money in crazy sums.


People spend money on all kinds of things but there are really four reasons we often choose to spend money.


If something offers you

1. Safety, comfort or security, (It makes you feel safe or feel good)

2. Status (Something is shiny and new and it looks good on you),

3. Ability to advance, (It is faster, newer, works, does a job for you), or

4. Its a good deal,

you will likely spend money on it.


If however,

You are afraid money.

You are opposed of debt.

You believe money is evil, bad, or to be spent only on necessary things and not on yourself.

You know how fortunate you are and feel greedy wanting more, or

Your brain jumps in with reasons you will fail, embarrass yourself, go broke, or DIE, your decision will be to stay right where you are and you'll either sit in money discomfort or choose to not spend - even on things that are important or necessary.


If you know what you want and aren't working for it for the reasons above, it's time for us to talk about why coaching is exactly what you need to move forward.


***To be clear, I am not talking about social inequality or pulling yourself up from the straps of your boots you don't own. After 20 years in a classroom working with kids, 90% of whom lived below the poverty line, I know some of you have a MUCH steeper climb. The truth is that until there is sweeping economic and social reform, this will remain. I hate it and I recognize that I am writing this from a privileged place. My hope is to support those who need services through my writing and social media posts, as well as by directing those who reach out to services in their area.


YOU'RE FEELING INCAPABLE AND TRAPPED


This was me. I was engulfed in self-limiting beliefs about who I was and what I could achieve. I lived locked in a cycle of panic and anxiety, feeling like a little girl who wasn't supposed to grow up because I was afraid of growing up. I incapacitated myself with thoughts based in fear and lack. I was trapped in my own garbage stories. I played small, did what I was told, and only did what felt safe.


To be clear, I'm not complaining about my life because I love where I am. I'm grateful for the incredibly hard lessons anxiety and panic taught me and I'm extra grateful to be beyond that period of my life. The experiences I had and the experiences I missed out on when I was drowning in anxiousness brought me to where I am today, so as hard as it was, it was worth it.


I do not want my story to be your story so I'm going to tell you the truth.

You were made for greatness and greatness comes from doing things that scare you.


You are stronger, more capable, and smarter than you realize. Yes, even though you might be anxious, unsure, and have no idea where you're headed, you can absolutely get to where you want to be and you've still got everything you need inside of you. I know it and I can help you see it too!


If everything feels impossible and you don't even know what you want anymore! (I can help with that.)


AND FINALLY, YOU THINK IT'S TOO LATE.


This one is simple.


If you're reading this, you're not six feet under so it is not too late. That is only a thought meant to keep you safely tucked away right where you are: avoiding people, places, and opportunities that you want.




Somewhere along the line, something poked at your nervous system and scared that little you who is still feeling scared, lost, and confused. Whether it is tough life situations or simply being highly sensitive and experiencing something that stuck in your nervous system, if you're living life as a stressed out and anxious person, hiding from the things that feel amazing but way too big and scary, you're settling for less than what you were created.


What I want you to know today is that you can do those BIG, SCARY, SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE things when you decide to step into the truth, do the work to calm your body, and commit.


By clicking any of the pink links in this post, you can schedule a free consultation with me. In this one hour phone conversation we'll talk about where anxiety shows up in multiple areas your life and how it's holding you back from having what you really want! We'll also talk about whether coaching with me is the next best step for you or not. This phone conversation is fun, powerful, and will give you an excellent first step forward.


Remember, my friend, it's not time, money, or inability that is keeping you where you are. It is an anxious brain that is working overtime to keep you from moving forward. It's time to take anxiety out of the driver's seat and to call your own shots. You've can do it and I am cheering for you.


<3 Megan

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