The Goalpost Effect: Why High-Achieving Women Burnout & Can't Enjoy Their Success

I was raised on Indiana University sports, graduated from Purdue, and immediately went back to my IU roots, so let me celebrate something historic with you right now.

IU has had a terrible football team for as long as I can remember. But not last season. And certainly not this season. They went 11-2 in 2024, an IU football season record, and as I write this, they're at 7-0. I'm fired up!

There's a reason I'm telling you about this, and it's not to convert you to being a Hoosier fan.

Even after their historic 2024 season, they had to refocus and start all over again. 

New season. New goals. Same grind.

It got me thinking about my clients, myself, and you.

Because you're doing the same thing.

You're successful at work. You show up for your family and friends. You're checking all the boxes.

But I wonder if you're physically there while your mind is somewhere else entirely. Replaying what you should have done differently. Planning what comes next. Never quite landing in the moment you're actually in.

You're already successful, but it never seems like enough, so you keep pushing, doing, and fixing to feel good. This is exactly why high-achieving women hit burnout and never feel successful!

Here's what I've learned from working with incredible, accomplished women like you:

The most successful people are often the least likely to actually enjoy their success.

And there's a reason for this.

Why High-Achieving Women Keep Moving the Goal Post and Burnout

You built your career on setting goals and crushing them. The hustle. The persistence. The refusal to quit. That's what got you here!

But somewhere along the way, the strategy that made you successful became the thing that's burning you out and keeping you from enjoying your success.

You never actually reach your goals because you move the goal post. Every time you get close, you move the target. Level up. Add more. Push harder.

It's not because you're greedy or never satisfied, it's because you've been conditioned to believe that rest isn't an option. That you're not successful enough yet. That celebrating means you're getting comfortable. That pausing means you're not hungry anymore.

So you keep going. You spread yourself thinner. You analyze what you're doing wrong and try to fix it by working harder. You overthink every decision. You overcommit to everything and everyone.

You squeeze in time with family and friends, but you're not fully present. Part of you is still thinking about work, about what you need to do tomorrow, about whether you're doing enough.

And here's the weird part:

Deep down, you know that the success you actually want is about being able to relax and spend time with those people you're squeezing in now. You want to be present and to feel confident and calm and to enjoy what you've built.

But instead, you're caught in this cycle where you downplay your accomplishments even as you're achieving them. You dismiss your wins. You immediately pivot to what's next.

What This Actually Feels Like

You finish a major project or hit a significant milestone. Maybe you get the promotion. Maybe you close the deal. Maybe you finally implement that system you've been working on for months.

And for about five minutes, you feel good.

Then almost immediately, your brain starts: "Okay, but what's next? What if I can't keep repeating results? What if I stop growing?"

The achievement that should feel like success feels like pressure. More responsibility. Higher expectations. Another mountain to climb.

You're exhausted but you can't stop. You're successful but you don't feel successful. You're there for everyone but you're not really there at all.

You feel guilty when you're working because you're not with your family. You feel guilty when you're with your family because you're thinking about work. You feel guilty when you try to rest because there's always something else you could be doing.

It's like running a race where every time you approach the finish line, someone moves it another mile down the road. And you just keep running, getting more tired, wondering when it will ever be enough.

What Needs to Happen Instead

You need to pause.

Not forever. Not even for a long time. Just long enough to actually acknowledge where you are and what you've already accomplished.

You need to let yourself feel successful before racing toward the next milestone.

When you stop to recognize your wins, truly appreciate the work you've done, and celebrate your success along the way, you're giving yourself the confidence, energy, and space to recalibrate and decide with intention what you want to do next.

You stop just surviving your life and start actually loving it.

You feel proud. Energized. Clear. Present.

You remember why you wanted these things in the first place. The people. The moments. The freedom. The life you're creating.

Success does come from hard work and perseverance, yes. But it also comes from giving yourself credit. From knowing exactly what you're working toward so you can celebrate when you get there. From pausing to reflect before you level up and start the process again.

This isn't about lowering your standards or becoming complacent. This is about intentionally enjoying what you're building instead of constantly chasing something just out of reach.

What Changes When You Get This Right

Imagine what it would feel like to:

• Enjoy your success instead of immediately moving on to the next thing.

• Feel confident in what you've achieved, not anxious about maintaining it

• Be fully present with the people you love. Not physically there while mentally somewhere else, but actually there. 

• Set new goals from a place of clarity and excitement, not fear and obligation

• Feel the calm, grounded confidence you've been working so hard for

This is the work I do with my clients.

We'll find those sneaky, sticky, often completely untrue, thoughts and limiting beliefs that keep you stuck. 

We create systems that actually work for you, boundaries that stick, strategies that lower anxiety, and practices that grow your confidence.

And I hold you accountable to yourself and your goals, because accountability without support is just more pressure, and you already have enough of that.

It's easier and more fun than you think. And honestly? It's my favorite part of my job; watching successful women finally give themselves permission to enjoy their success!

If you're not allowing yourself to reach your goals because you keep moving the goal post, you're going to want to check out Episode 151 of More Than Anxiety. 

 🎧 : Listen to the podcast.

🖥️: Watch the video on YouTube

My friend, you can continue to spread yourself thinner, analyze what you're doing wrong and try to fix it by working harder.

You squeeze in time with the people who matter most without being fully present.

You can keep pushing and never reach the finish line.

OR, you can decide to give yourself the credit you deserve.

Adapt, Adjust, and Refocus.

💜 Megan