Stop Overthinking: How to Handle Intrusive Thoughts, Grow Your Confidence and Calm Your Nervous System

Are you constantly listening to a mind that won’t shut off?

I know that feeling all too well.

Because brains are going to think, even when most of what they come up with are old thoughts, memories, and habits, my brain, like your's is always buzzing with new ideas, new thoughts, and a near constant desire to make everything better.

While this can be fantastic for creativity and inspiration, it can also become a frustrating cycle of anxious overthinking if you don’t learn to manage it.

The good news is, you don’t have stop your thoughts to feel calm, confident, and in control; you just have to learn how to respond to the thoughts.

This post is a reflection of all the new things I’ve learned about how to manage the flood of thoughts that fill my mind from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. What’s different now than when I was dealing with generalized anxiety disorder is that I've learned to distinguish between creative, productive thinking and the anxious thought loops that kept me stuck, made me an anxious mess for years, and stole some of the biggest moments and eras of my life.

You don't have to wait as long as I did to stop overthinking, manage anxiety, and feel confident.

Let's start right now by learning how to stop the cycle of overthinking and find the confident calm that comes from trusting yourself.

You Aren’t Your Thoughts (and You Don't Have to Believe Them)

You are allowed to think anything you want, but you have to be very particular about what you actually believe.

Your brain’s job is to think and to make sense of what’s going on around you. Sometimes, this looks like brilliant thoughts that pop up while you're in the shower or creative inspiration downloading from God as you plan a vacation.

But when you struggle with feeling anxious, this powerful creative brain chatter can work against you. When you’re caught in a fear-based cycle of thinking, your thoughts aren’t focused on what feels good; they're focused on everything that scares you.

This is when overthinking shows up and it's the opposite of productive.

• Imagining the Worst-Case Scenario: You expect to be fired for no reason or believe a friend is mad at you when you don’t know for sure. This kind of thinking causes your body to feel stressed and anxious.

• Second-Guessing Everything: You have trouble making decisions, whether it's what to wear, what to say or what you already said. You trust the thought more than you trust yourself, which keeps you from making a “wrong” decision.

• Replaying the Past with Self-Judgment: You judge yourself for a comment you made or a decision you regret. (Ask yourself, "What if you flipped that and said, 'Look how much I've grown'?" instead!)

Stop Overthinking By Feeling

Because you can't stop yourself from thinking by thinking more, you need to break the cycle as soon as possible. When you’re anxious, your brain assumes your thoughts are real threats.

It dumps adrenaline and cortisol into your system, making you tense, your heart race, and your breathing shallow. This makes you feel more anxious, which causes you to think more.

The secret to breaking this cycle of thinking and feeling is to use your body as a clue to check your thoughts, NOT stop your thoughts. Here's how you can get started.

1. Acknowledge the Feeling: When you notice your body feeling stressed or anxious, pause. This feeling is not a problem; it's just super uncomfortable.

2. Trust Yourself, Not Your Thoughts: Learn to use that feeling as the sign to exhale and choose to ignore your thoughts for a while.

3. Choose Your Response: As you breathe, choose not to respond to the thoughts. Inhale then fully exhale several times and let your body calm down. Once your body relaxes, your thoughts will naturally slow down and you'll be able to think again.

Simple Tools to Stop Overthinking At Night

Often when I'm working with someone, they tell me they're able to think clearly during the day but once they lay down to sleep, their brain just won't shut off. This is often because there's nothing to distract you from looking back on your day or worrying about tomorrow.

To help your mind quiet down, especially when it’s active at night, here are two simple tools:

• Keep a Pen and Paper by Your Bed: If an important or scary thought pops up, write it down. This moves the thought from your brain to something concrete you can deal with first thing in the morning. Most of the time, that thought won't feel so urgent when the sun comes up.

• Practice a Calming Breath: Instead of counting sheep, count your breath. A simple technique is box breathing or a 4-4-6 breath. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale for six. This longer exhale calms your nervous system and gives your brain something boring to focus on, redirecting it away from anxious thoughts.

When you start applying these techniques, you'll begin to notice benefits in every area of your life.

🌟 You’ll have better relationships, communication skills, and more confidence.

🌟 Head and body aches lessen

🌟 You're able to think clearly and creatively.

🌟 You're more productive, patient, and energized.

If you’re ready to take the next step and find a clear, focused plan for moving forward, join me for a free Boundaries and Balance Audit. We’ll look at seven key areas of your life to find what needs attention and what’s keeping you stuck. It’s an easy, low-pressure way to start taking action toward a more balanced and peaceful life.

P.S. You can hear more about How To Stop Overthinking And Handle Intrusive Thoughts in Episode 144 of More Than Anxiety