Breaking Your Dopamine Addiction: How to Stop Scrolling and Feel Better Than Ever

Episode Description: How to Stop Scrolling and Feel Better Than Ever

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just off—but still glued to your phone? In this episode of More Than Anxiety, we’re unpacking how dopamine addiction may be at the root of your scrolling, snacking, Netflix binging, and overthinking.

Inspired by Dopamine Nation, I’m breaking down what dopamine is, how it works in your body, and why it’s so hard to stop doing the things that feel good but leave you emotionally drained.

You’ll learn:

• Why mindless scrolling actually makes you feel worse

• What “dopamine overload” does to your brain and body

• How your screen habits are affecting your kids

• The emotional and physical symptoms of dopamine addiction

• What it really means to detox (and how to start)

• How to stop scrolling so you can help you feel joy, peace, and presence again

This episode is your permission slip to stop numbing out and start reconnecting—with yourself, your emotions, and your real life.

If you’ve been trying to feel better but keep falling into the same habits, this one’s for you.

Episode 74 - Breaking Your Dopamine Addiction: How To Stop Scrolling and Feel Better Than Ever

Podcast Transcript:

Welcome to the More Than Anxiety podcast, your guide to creating a life you truly love, free from the grip of overwhelming stress and anxiety. I'm Megan Devito, a Life Coach dedicated to empowering ambitious women to break free from what holds them back. Here, you'll find a refreshing and practical approach to managing anxiety, filled with honest conversations, actionable strategies, and the inspiration you need to step into a more confident, calm, and fulfilling life. Let's dive in!

Hey everyone, and welcome back to episode 74 of the More Than Anxiety podcast! I'm your host, Megan, and I'm really excited to explore a topic that's been on my mind lately: the fascinating world of dopamine and its impact on our mental well-being.

Last week, I mentioned diving into dopamine addiction and detoxing. As I've delved deeper, I've realized what a vast and multifaceted subject it is. So, for this episode, I want to focus specifically on how dopamine influences your mental health and how you can actually cultivate greater happiness by understanding and even reducing your reliance on excessive dopamine.

This exploration began after a conversation with my friend Derek, who's helping me with some personal branding. He recommended the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke. If this podcast resonates with you, I highly recommend checking it out – I'm currently listening to it on Audible. I have to admit, my initial reaction was a bit of a shock, but now I'm genuinely captivated. The information is incredibly insightful and relevant for everyone, especially in our digitally saturated world.

In this episode, I'll be touching on observations I've made in myself, my children, and the students I've taught. We'll explore how even without a complete "detox," simply being more mindful of where we're getting our dopamine hits can lead to a significant increase in overall happiness, even beyond the fleeting pleasure those quick hits provide.

I have a lot to share, and I'll do my best to stay focused! The book started with a story that immediately resonated with me – it felt like the author had written it about my own experiences. It's a slightly embarrassing story, but here it goes. The author confessed to becoming instantly addicted to the Twilight book series. My own shameless admission is that I was right there with her! I read it and was completely hooked. I know, I know – maybe the writing or storyline wasn't literary genius, but I was all in. It was actually a relief to hear I wasn't alone. She described rereading the books repeatedly, chasing that initial feeling of pleasure.

My story took it a bit further. She mentioned moving on to other romance novels, which, yes, I did too. And let's not forget the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon, which I personally thought was terrible but still… Then, I stumbled into the world of online role-playing games (RPGs). These are games where you create characters, develop storylines – sometimes incredibly intricate ones – and the RPG I got deeply involved in for several years was actually based on the Twilightuniverse.

So, when the author discussed the massive dopamine rush she got from those books, I thought, "Oh no, it's all downhill from here for me!" But honestly, it was comforting to know I wasn't the only one, especially someone around my age, who got a little obsessed.

In a nutshell, the book explains that dopamine is a crucial neurotransmitter in your body. Its primary roles are to motivate us, induce pleasure, and provide feelings of reward. Dopamine itself is not bad; it's essential for us to feel good.

I want to be very clear from the start: this isn't about eliminating dopamine. We absolutely need it. Some individuals naturally have deficiencies or excesses, but that's not the focus here. What I'm addressing is the tendency to avoid negative feelings by constantly seeking out easy, often unhealthy, sources of dopamine. As I've mentioned before, life is a balance – a 50/50 split, or perhaps even a thirds model where a portion of our time involves feeling good, another feeling neutral, and yes, even a portion where we experience negative emotions. The issue arises when we try to avoid feeling any negative emotion ever.

Here's how dopamine works: it triggers feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, and motivation in your brain. But it also plays a role in memory storage and creation, mood regulation, sleep quality, learning, concentration, and even blood pressure regulation and pain relief. So, we often seek those dopamine hits to make our entire body feel good, which makes them highly addictive. When these hits come from healthy sources, it's generally fine. However, constantly seeking that "feel-good" sensation through other means can become problematic.

Think about it: things like street drugs (meth), prescription painkillers (OxyContin), pornography, sex, food, and even seemingly harmless things like romance novels can trigger significant dopamine release. These things make us feel good, and that's why they can become addictive.

However, I want to focus on the less obvious culprits – the small, seemingly innocent dopamine hits we experience throughout the day, often without even realizing it. I'm talking about things like social media, binge-watching Netflix, and avoiding uncomfortable situations by immersing ourselves in these activities. I can easily spend hours scrolling through social media reels, getting those little hits of entertainment and distraction, allowing me to avoid feeling any negative emotions. We all do it, myself included. Just yesterday, while writing this podcast, I noticed myself reaching for my phone whenever I felt a twinge of frustration.

What makes these things so addictive is the constant stream of rewards: notifications, likes, the validation of comments, watching other people's seemingly exciting lives, and the humor that provides a quick burst of feel-good chemicals. It's not inherently bad to laugh or see those things, but the problem lies in the amount of time we spend and how dependent we become on them to feel good. We use these things to chase that feeling. The core issue isn't wanting to feel good; it's only wanting to feel good and actively avoiding anything that feels less than pleasant.

The more dopamine you experience, the more your brain craves it. Think about smelling cookies baking. That initial aroma gives you a little dopamine hit – "Oh my gosh, those smell amazing!" Then you eat one, and you get another surge of dopamine because it tastes so good. That immediate reward feels fantastic, but it quickly fades, leading you to crave another cookie. This is how you can find yourself stress-eating an entire sleeve of Thin Mints without even realizing it. Tell me you haven't been there!

And it's Girl Scout cookie season, isn't it? Those adorable girls at the grocery store know exactly how to play on our emotions. So, a word of warning: if you're prone to stress-eating Girl Scout cookies, don't be surprised when the whole sleeve disappears.

Before you know it, the cookies are gone, and so is that quick dopamine fix. Other seemingly harmless things trigger similar responses: sex, phone notifications, social media likes, shopping, even the little rewards in games like Candy Crush – the "congratulations" messages, the cartoon characters, the virtual stickers. How are we motivated by fake stickers? But we are! Getting a new badge on your fitness tracker after a workout – that little reward gives you a sense of accomplishment, a dopamine hit that keeps you coming back. I'll admit, I'm a bit of a slave to my Apple Watch because of those little "congratulations" moments.

Maybe that's a "good" addiction, maybe not, but it illustrates the point. It quickly becomes problematic when you're spending excessive time or money trying to feel good all the time. Feeling sad? Buy a shirt. Feeling sad? Play Candy Crush. Feeling sad? Scroll through your phone. Feeling sad? Have sex. Feeling sad? Eat a cookie. Whatever your go-to is.

The more you feed that need for instant gratification, the less equipped you become to handle the negative emotions that are a necessary part of a balanced emotional life. Eating a couple of Girl Scout cookies occasionally isn't going to hurt you, but devouring a whole sleeve every time you feel down is a problem. That's the distinction. The more you use anything – whether it's cookies, social media, or more harmful substances – to feel good or numb out, the more your brain will crave it. It will take more and more of that thing to achieve the same level of pleasure. And conversely, the more pain you'll feel when you don't have that dopamine source, intensifying your cravings. We are literally making ourselves hurt more in the long run by trying to avoid short-term discomfort. Your brain now needs that dopamine hit just to feel "normal."

Lately, I've been thinking about how many people actively avoid anything that makes them feel nervous, angry, sad, disappointed, or any other uncomfortable emotion. Of course, these feelings aren't pleasant, but the refusal to experience boredom or discomfort makes us incredibly reliant on dopamine as the easiest fix, and it's constantly within reach on our phones.

How long can you actually go without your phone? Just last night, I saw a local news station post about offering someone $10,000 to give up their cell phone for a month. I immediately asked my daughters if they'd do it for the money. One said, "How would I talk to my friends?" – a valid point since we don't even have a landline anymore. The other flat-out refused, worried about emergencies on the highway. We've become so tethered to these devices. While $10,000 is tempting, it made me wonder if I could truly do it. The money itself would be a significant dopamine hit!

It's interesting how this concept of giving up dopamine, or the easy ways we get it, is popping up more and more. Maybe it's because I'm listening to that book on my phone, but even the local news station was highlighting it. As I said, I've been focused on how many people are avoiding all sorts of feelings, but the phone is always there – an easy escape. However, every time you avoid those negative or challenging emotions, you inadvertently diminish the intensity of the good ones too. You get stuck in a cycle of constantly seeking more dopamine, and it takes more and more to feel that same level of pleasure. This book has really opened my eyes to this dynamic. I haven't finished it yet, but this core concept is incredibly important.

When you consistently avoid feeling the "bad" stuff, you make those simple things that used to bring you joy less effective. Think back to your childhood. Remember how good simple pleasures felt? Playing in the snow, cuddling a puppy, listening to your favorite song, or for me, Saturday mornings with pancakes and cartoons – because cartoons weren't on all the time, you had to wait for that special morning. Sparklers on the Fourth of July. Those happy memories were partly so vivid because of the dopamine they released.

Your brain and your entire body strive for balance. When you refuse to feel negative emotions, your brain is thrown out of equilibrium. It will actively work to restore that balance, a state called homeostasis. So, when you experience excessive dopamine, the "hard" stuff feels even harder because your brain has to make a more drastic swing to get back to that baseline. Again, to be clear, dopamine is necessary and important, and we all want to feel happy.

I'm not suggesting we should all aim to be sad more often. That's not the point. Some people naturally have lower dopamine levels and need a boost. What I'm talking about is avoiding those unpleasant feelings by seeking artificial ways to numb ourselves, which ultimately reduces the pleasure we derive from the genuinely good things in life.

So, if you often feel unmotivated, unfocused, tired, and struggle to concentrate – all potential signs of dopamine imbalance – what I'm about to say will be particularly helpful. You can reset your dopamine levels so you're not constantly dependent on likes, social media, video games, romance novels, shows, or whatever your personal go-to is.

It takes time, and you can expect a period where life might feel a little dull or "icky," but there are purposeful actions you can take that will give you genuine feelings of accomplishment, happiness, joy, and satisfaction.

One powerful strategy is to establish a routine. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it: routines are crucial. Your brain thrives on them, especially if you experience anxiety or are actively seeking to feel better. Create a routine that includes enjoyable activities – something as simple as playing with Play-Doh or petting your cat or dog. Then, intentionally schedule small treats for yourself. Remember those silly pretend stickers I mentioned? Create your own real-life equivalents. Grab a cup of coffee at a specific time, call your best friend for a funny chat. Give yourself these little rewards at predictable times so you have something positive to anticipate. Talking to a friend and petting your dog are genuine dopamine boosters, not as intense as artificial hits, and you're in control.

Another key to resetting dopamine levels – and I'm not talking about a complete dopamine detox, which can be extreme – is prioritizing sleep. Go to bed early and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. Getting sufficient, quality sleep helps your brain naturally reset and regulate dopamine levels, leading to a better mood throughout the day. When you're tired and grumpy, you're more likely to seek out quick fixes to feel good. Natural rest sets you on the right path.

A third helpful strategy is to pay attention to your diet. If you're using food for dopamine hits – yes, Thin Mints, but also other comfort foods like mac and cheese or cookies – try incorporating more fruits, vegetables, and lean protein into your meals. I know this sounds like basic advice, but there's a reason it's repeated. I share these things because I practice them myself. Focus on whole, unprocessed foods where you recognize all the ingredients. If the ingredient list is full of unpronounceable words, it's likely processed. Processed foods often come from factories, while whole foods come from the ground or the ocean. Even bread can be processed or less processed, so read labels. Eating better helps your body crave those sugary, processed dopamine bombs less. We get addicted to Doritos, not Brussels sprouts, partly because of the dopamine response. And yes, Doritos taste good, but so do Brussels sprouts! Junk food provides easy dopamine hits, making them highly addictive.

Next, start moving your body for at least 30 minutes a day. Get your heart rate up. Exercise helps your brain release dopamine after your workout. Don't expect a rush of motivation before – in my experience, it doesn't work that way. I feel good, tired, and maybe a little sore after exercising. The dopamine reward comes post-activity. This is something I didn't fully believe until I experienced it myself, but it's true. You don't need a gym membership; a brisk walk, an online fitness class, playing actively with your kids, or dancing all count.

Finally, and as always, I encourage you to practice mindfulness and meditation. Meditation naturally calms your brain. Mindfulness helps you recognize that it's okay to feel sad or uncomfortable; these feelings are temporary and will pass. These activities, when practiced consistently as part of a routine, will provide genuine dopamine release.

If you struggle to create these routines, know that you're not alone. Your brain will naturally resist changes and want you to continue those familiar feel-good activities. Breaking the addiction to your phone or whatever your go-to is when you feel bad takes conscious effort. Initially, your brain will work against you, but it doesn't have to stay that way. It requires a determined decision and setting yourself up for success. Your brain often pushes back on change, even positive change, because familiarity feels safe. This is especially true when those "safe" feelings come from artificial dopamine hits.

Here's where coaching can be incredibly beneficial. Whether you work with me or another coach, we help you identify the triggers and thought patterns that lead to your current habits. In this context, we'd explore your dopamine sources and then collaboratively replace those habits with healthier alternatives that bring you peace, joy, and energy without the artificial boosts. This might involve incorporating exercise, consistency, time in nature, dietary changes – whatever resonates with you. If you notice yourself reaching for your phone every time you feel anxious, sad, or bored, I can help you become more aware of this pattern and develop a new plan.

Coaching provides weekly accountability to ensure you're following through, especially when you're tempted to give up and grab that phone. We'll work together with understanding and without judgment, avoiding a cold-turkey approach and striving for sustainable progress, not perfection. We'll collaborate to make these new habits stick so you don't automatically revert to old patterns. And if you do notice yourself backsliding, which is perfectly normal, you'll have the tools and awareness to get back on track. You'll learn your own habits, your mood patterns, and what it takes for you to regain balance.

When you reach a point where these new habits are established and you feel genuinely good – not constantly reaching for your phone or comfort food, allowing yourself to feel emotions and noticing that you do feel better – you'll experience significant positive changes. You'll be able to focus more effectively because you're not constantly seeking that quick hit. You'll be more productive because you're less distracted. You'll crave those unhealthy dopamine sources less. And you'll have so much more energy to pursue the things you truly want to do.

I want to quickly circle back to my role-playing game experience. While I had a lot of fun, made great friends, and engaged my creativity, the constant need to check my phone for updates and replies became all-consuming. It occupied so much of my brainpower and time. What started as fun eventually revealed itself as a full-blown addiction, masked by the harmless and enjoyable nature of the activity.

Looking back, I'm amazed at how deeply I was immersed and how much better I feel now that I've stepped away. People around me noticed the change.

So, that's what I wanted to share with you today. I know this episode touched on a lot of different points, but the core message is about understanding those dopamine hits we get from various sources