Sometimes the hardest part of my job is keeping my mouth shut.
I see you doing all the things to feel better and I remember what it’s like to feel helpless and trapped. Afraid to feel anxious. Afraid of your thoughts.
I’ve been there.
Every tip you’ve seen on Instagram,
Every blog post you’ve ready,
Every piece of advice on Facebook or from your friend gives you hope.
They give you some relief.
But not all of them are helpful.
Today I’m sharing the Top 5 Things You’re Doing That Are Keeping You Anxious.
Talking about anxiety all the time. - Anxiety feels important and dangerous so it has your attention and focus. It becomes who you are.
Not Sleeping. - Anxiety is keeping you awake but not sleeping is making you more anxious. Your brain is tired so it can’t think. Anxiety also makes it difficult to think. It’s a 1-2 punch.
Asking for Reassurance. - Asking other people if they have experienced the same symptoms or had the same thoughts as you. Googling and researching. Bringing up your worries in a ‘joking’ way to catch other’s responses or to hear them say something to make you feel safe.
Avoiding triggers. - If you know something is going to make you feel anxious and you exit stage left and run, you’re making it worse by avoiding places, situations and things.
Fighting it off. - When you try to stop the feeling or push anxiety away with all the tips and tricks you know, or by popping a Xanax every time you feel anxious.
I know anxiety feels miserable and real. You’re doing the best with what you know now to not feel anxious, to think clearly, and to stay calm but it is backfiring.
These behaviors are common and they feel necessary and helpful.
If they didn’t, you wouldn’t do them.
The urge to keep checking and to avoid the things that make you feel anxious can feel overwhelming at times.
You’re taking action but this action is doing more harm than good because your brain uses these habits and behaviors as evidence that something is actually wrong.
Nothing is wrong.
Since these reactions aren’t helping you, you have to choose new responses or no response to change what you believe about how anxiety feels and the thoughts you think.
Let me share this example of how you can use this right now.
I see this a lot when people want to do a consultation call but they’re anxious about talking on the phone.
Sometimes they schedule a call then feel too anxious to pick up the phone.
Sometimes they are too afraid to even schedule a call..
Sometimes they ask other people what they think they should do before they schedule or make the call.
And sometimes they schedule, feel like they’re going to throw up, and still call.
For these people, within 5 minutes, we’re chatting and the anxiety is gone.
On a consultation call,
You learn a new way of thinking about how anxiety feels inside your body.
You listen to what it’s saying to you and about you.
You learn the truth about what you think and how it makes you feel and when you know the truth, anxiety loses its power.
It works every time and it doesn’t take forever to start noticing that you
feel less anxious less often.
When you learn to let anxiety be only a feeling and not a threat, it looses its power.
When you aren’t anxious, everything changes.
Check out Episode 27 of the More Than Anxiety Podcast to learn how these habits are keeping you anxious, why it's making your anxiety worse, and what you can do about it.