Goal-Setting Hesitation: Why High Achievers Avoid Goals (and What It’s Costing You)
- Megan Devito
- Sep 16
- 6 min read
The pumpkins and mums are out. The breeze isn't as swampy and hot. The sky is that perfect September blue. We're right on the edge of autumn and Q4; where you're either pumpkin-spiced crazy and ready for the season or trying to figure out how you're going to overcome goal-setting hesitation and end the year strong.
As a high achiever, you've heard the goal-setting spiel more times than you care to think about. You know that you should set goals and part of you wants to, but actually stretching yourself, admitting what you want, and sticking to them causes nothing but resistance.
It's not just you. It was me too! For most of my life I fluttered around, doing all the things I was supposed to do but always avoiding writing down and sticking to any goals because they seemed impossible and, if I'm being honest, I was afraid to admit what I wanted and I didn't want to fail and feel disappointed. On top of that, I also found every reason to avoid doing the work that would make me successful.
"Goals can be a helpful way to enhance our performance, keep us moving in the right direction, and increase our happiness and well-being. However, we won’t reap any of those benefits if we don’t set them the right way." (Harvard Business Review)
Signs of Goal-Setting Sabotage (and Why You Do It)
When I left the classroom to start my coaching business, I was the queen of busywork. I was posting and creating content like a machine. (This is why my Instagram, blog, and podcast are so hefty!) If you're like I was, you stay busy with low-impact tasks that feel productive, safe, and easy but don’t move you forward outside of your current reality. You lean into doing, and you do a lot of menial work.
Another behavior I often see in my clients is hiding behind perfectionism. This might look like tweaking plans, scrapping plans, and even waiting to make plans until you have the perfect idea or set up. Instead of believing what they have is valuable, they compare their work and ideas to others, rarely if ever, seeing their work as good enough.
You may also have convinced yourself that goals aren’t important. If you feel guilt or shame for wanting more for yourself and believe that setting goals makes you greedy or ungrateful, of course, you won't set them!
You chase shiny objects and short-term goals (like New Year’s resolutions) that fade quickly, then quickly move on to something else that is easy to achieve. There's a lot less emotional investment, and you're not "quitting," you just found something else that's better, right?
Here's what's really happening.
5 Limiting Beliefs That Block Your Success
There are lots of reasons high-achievers refuse to set goals. From not knowing exactly what they want to believing they can achieve the goals they "don't have" without calling them goals, there are 5 typical limiting beliefs that often keep people from the success they deserve and they all come straight from your subconscious in an effort to keep you safe from change, hard work, and feeling uncomfortable.
Perfectionism. - If it's not perfect, it doesn't count.
Helplessness or Fear of Failure - I'll never follow through, so why bother?
Fear of Success - What will they think if I become that successful?
Imposter Syndrome - I'm really not as great as they think I am.
Not Enoughness - I have to do everything to prove that I'm good enough for success.
No guilt trip here, my friend. At one time or another, we've all had to work our way through these thoughts. Your subconscious and mine are sneaky little control freaks that do their best to make sure we stay in our lane, play small, and never feel anything uncomfortable. This is exactly why it's our jobs to override the system and choose different thoughts and actions.
If you find yourself procrastinating on the things that matter most while obsessing over the small decisions and steps that will move you forward...
If you lower or abandon your goals halfway through to take the pressure off because you've told yourself they're silly or completely insane...
If you go all in, work like a crazy woman, then wonder why you're burned out without anything to show for it...
How to Overcome Goal-Setting Hesitation Without Burnout
Forget willpower, ChatGPT prompts, and life hacks. You've probably tried all of that anyway and you're still here reading this blog post or listening to the podcast episode. When push comes to shove, if you're going to set and achieve goals in Q4 or anytime during the year, you have to start with those sneaky thoughts that originate in your subconscious.
You can't think your way out of them because they make you feel miserable. Instead, you have to gently and repeatedly feel your way out, one truthful thought at a time.
This starts with having awareness about what you're avoiding or resisting. Why won't you make the video for YouTube? Where do you spend your time instead of on your work and how do you feel when you leave the spreadsheet half done to make that Target run for more coffee and paper towels?
Why are these goals important to you? ARE they important to you, or are they important to someone else? Get clear on the motivation to succeed or bail, and be honest with yourself. Your brain knows when you're lying to yourself.
And finally, give yourself permission to be messy, creative, and to take breaks.
If this all feels like A LOT, check out this post on To-Do List Overwhelm for more time and success.
Why All Of This Matters
Your work life and personal life are intricately intertwined. When you're satisfied and feel confident and successful at work, you're less likely to overwork at home and have a stronger work-life balance. Setting goals increases productivity at work by 20%-25% which allows you to leave work at work, head home in a better mood, and relax and enjoy your time with family and friends.
"A study found that planning out smaller, concrete daily goals helps employees psychologically detach from work, which leads to improved mood, reduced fatigue, greater daily task performance, and increased personal initiative." (The Independent)
So, even when goals feel uncomfortable or challenging, setting and taking those goals one step at a time allows you to change what you believe about yourself, to be more productive at work, and have more time to enjoy your life at home.
I'm curious. Scroll back up and look at those 5 limiting beliefs that keep you from setting goals. Which one of those beliefs or sabotage signs feels most familiar to you right now?
With Q4 just around the corner, or no matter when you're reading this, I've got a mindset reset for you to help you find the success, confidence, and balance you're looking for. You can download that mindset reset HERE and get started working on those beliefs and habits that are keeping you from setting and achieving goals today.
💜 Megan
Frequently Asked Questions About Goal-Setting Hesitation
🌟 Why do high achievers struggle with goal-setting?
High achievers often hesitate to set goals because of perfectionism, fear of failure, or fear of success. Goals bring vulnerability. Admitting what you want means feeling disappointment if you don’t reach it.
🌟 What are the most common limiting beliefs about success?
The five most common limiting beliefs are perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of success, imposter syndrome, and not feeling “good enough.” These beliefs keep you stuck in self-sabotage instead of moving forward.
🌟 How do I know if I’m sabotaging my own goals?
Signs of self-sabotage include procrastination, lowering your goals to make them easier, and working nonstop only to burn out. If you’re busy but not moving closer to your dreams, sabotage why.
🌟 How can I overcome goal-setting hesitation without burning out?
Start by noticing the thoughts and feelings that come up when you think about your goals. Get honest about your motivation, shift your mindset around failure, and give yourself permission to make progress without perfection.
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