Welcome to very first episode the More Than Anxiety Podcast.
(Formerly known as the 10,000 Swords Podcast.)
In this first episode, you'll learn the science behind anxiety and learn how your brain is wired to keep you safe, sometimes a little too well. This episode explores:
The mind body connection
The connection between physical sensations and anxious thoughts
How to break the cycle of fear and worry
Practical tips for calming your mind and body
Episode Transcript: The Mind Body Connection
Welcome to Episode One. This very first podcast, I'm just gonna go full on nerd like right out of the gate. This episode is all about brain science and your beliefs. So today, we're going to talk about why the heck your brain freaks out in the first place. And as this podcast continues, you're going to hear lots of stories about my personal experience with anxiety and stories from people I work with in my coaching practice. But I wanted to make sure to kick this off with something that when I was in recovery, really flipped a switch in my brain, and launched me forward. I tried lots of things along the line, I tried a really short stint in therapy, I've done medication, I've done like clawing my way through, I've asked for reassurance I've done all the things. But this idea that I'm sharing with you today about your brain and your body, and everything that's happening. This is what did it for me. So I'm going to talk about the growth that comes from not knowing or understanding like what's going on, how your body feels, why you're thinking such incredibly scary thoughts - to this place of understanding the feelings that lead to the anxious thoughts, even when it might feel the other way around. Like feeling like the thoughts make you feel anxious, but it might be the feelings that make you think anxious. So get your nerd glasses out, grab a notebook, because you're going to want to remember this.
02:12
So if at any point, you need to pause and process, do it, hit pause on the podcast, and then come back to it and keep going. Alright, so the first thing I want to talk about in my very non scientific, nerdiest best is the parts of your brain. I'm not going to go over all the parts of the brain, but I am going to tell you about the parts of your brain that are really significant when it comes to managing anxiety, and how your body is dealing with things.
02:45
And just remember that your brain has different areas for different functions. So there's a part of your brain that controls vision. And then you have like the cerebellum that controls your balance, you've got the brainstem that just just keeps you alive. It regulates those things like autonomic nervous system, things that you don't have to think about, like blinking your eyes and breathing and the things that you just, you know, you don't have to think about your heart pumping. It just does it, thankg God, right?
03:15
So first, I want to start off with talking about the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe is literally the thinking part. And it's right at the front of your head. This is the oldest area of your brain. So when we talk about evolution, if this was the last part of your brain to develop in the brain as we know it right now. And it's also the last part of your brain to develop as you age. And this is why college kids and high school kids and kind of all kids do really, really stupid things. This is why we do things like tie sleds to the back of pickup trucks and go down icy roads in the winter, or why we do ridiculous challenges that could get us killed. All right, this is what's going on your frontal lobe controls impulses and helps you think through things. So for guys, guys don't see this part of their brain developed until they're around 28. That's the average. It's like 25 to 30 for guys. Ladies, it's usually around 23. For us somewhere between 21 and 25. So girls brains happen to mature or their frontal lobe develops faster. Your frontal lobe is really the part that helps you to be rational, like a rationally thinking human being. Here's the deal. your frontal lobe can't work if you're in the middle of panic.
04:44
So next, next, let's talk about the part of your brain that controls panic and all of those like nasty feelings. Okay, this is called the amygdala. I feel so scientific right now you guys; this is so not my thing, right, like I'm a life coach. But dude! brains are really interesting to me. So the amygdala, the amygdala is just this like little almond shaped part of your brain, like right in the middle, nicely protected by everything else, because the amygdala just has one job. It is to keep you alive. Okay, it's right above your brainstem, the only thing that has to do is to constantly scan your brain for threats, and react. That is it. There's no more it doesn't think. It doesn't say "oh, that's not real", actually does the exact opposite. It is super fast. And this part of your brain actually keeps you from thinking. And this is incredibly useful. Because if you're about to step off of a curb in front of a bus, you're going to want to get back quickly. So this part of your brain goes, BOOM, hit me with some adrenaline. And as soon as it does that, your body gets flooded with adrenaline and you can hop back, this is how people are able to pull, you know, like lift up a car and things like that. Okay, this is a great area of your brain. Except for when it's not right.
06:20
So I like to call this area of the brain the caveman and here's why. So from here on out, just remember when I say caveman, I mean this like lizard brain, this this park called the amygdala, all right? Inside your brain, I want you to play pretend with me for a minute. Okay, let's, let's put on our like, little kid persona. And if you are a parent, you might already know this movie. Or maybe you just really like the animation, which is cool to. Have you ever seen the movie, The Croods. Think about this, okay, I've got kids. So I've seen the movie. And I just want you to imagine the data and the Croods is living in your brain, because that's really what your amygdala is like.
07:02
So I'm gonna, like, stop right here and tell you if you haven't seen the Croods. It's about this family of like cavemen. And there's like a mom and a dad and an older sister and a baby, possibly another sibling in there, and maybe a grandma. And the dad is the amygdala. And what I mean by that is the dad in the movie is always grabbing everybody and throwing them back in the cave. If they go close to the cliff, he throws them back in the cave. If they get close to the fire, he throws them back to the cave, if he sees anything that he perceives as dangerous. The sun, the saber toothed tiger, the little teeny, tiny lizard, whatever it is, "Get in the cave, or we're all gonna die!" That is the amygdala.
07:53
And so all of these things are happening just like in the movie inside your brain. And so the dad and the kids, he doesn't understand any of it. He just knows what he's supposed to do to keep everyone safe and alive. And that's exactly what your amygdala is doing. That's exactly why anxiety is the way it is. Because it doesn't think it just keeps you safely stuck right where you are.
08:17
So it's total garbage, right? Like, let's understand for one minute, like, your brain isn't thinking it's only reacting. And it's like 100 miles an hour, which really, really is garbage because it's just anxiety. But you're like, Yeah, but I'm not going to fall off a cliff and saber toothed tigers are extinct. And that's totally true. But that caveman, that amygdala response to the same thing, even if it's pretend, and you made it up yourself, or if it's just some scary story, your brain thinks it's true. Because your amygdala, your caveman doesn't know the difference.
09:02
So whatever that perceived threat is, it makes your amygdala tell this other part of your brain to just flood you with all the hormones; like it's like, "Quick! Give me some epinephrine! Give me some adrenaline! Give me some cortisol! Let's freak her out! Let's make her run! Let's make her like, fight! Let's make her hide!" And sometimes that means you don't leave the house. Sometimes that means you don't go to school, or you don't shake anybody's hand, or you don't eat certain foods, because you've got some thought about them being poisoned, whatever that is. And it can be totally irrational when you're not anxious, but in the middle of it, you are like 99.9% sure you are on death's door. Or you will be if you do the thing, all right. I mean, I created diseases so I would like Google symptoms, and then, like, try to make sure I was safe, which actually made me sure that I was dying. Because I've created this fear in my head, or I experienced something and then thought, oh my god, probably this crazy situation that my brain would come up with happened. And now it's real. And now I'm definitely going to get some disease and die or something like that.
10:26
So we also know this other fact about the brain. While I'm still being nerdy here. The brain loves, loves, loves, loves routines. And it uses our nervous system, kind of like a file cabinet. Alright, so I want you to picture this with me. You have like this initial fear, like the first time you're afraid of something or you feel threatened. Sometimes we call this trauma. And I think this can be a heavy word. And I am speaking at this, like speaking about this as someone who I hear the word trauma, and I think, big, big tragedies. Right, like gigantic car accidents, house fires, like life threatening diseases and things like that. But that's not exactly what trauma is. So for me, I tripped over the word trauma. Because when I think back over my life, I'm like, Megan, you didn't have trauma. I literally guys, zero on the trauma indicator, Like nothing. Like my 47 my parents live like, not very far from me, they're still married. And like, my grandma was 99, when she died, like, I didn't have trauma, but I damn sure had ridiculous amounts of anxiety. So somewhere along the line, my little self saw something that she must have perceived. Now I'm speaking to myself in third person, as a threat. And what happened was, my brain felt scared, or my body felt scared. And my brain said, remember this, the next time this happens, we're going to know exactly what to do. So I would react. So what happens is, your brain really loves this routine. And when you're anxious, over and over again, about the same thing, or when you've experienced panic or anxiety in the past, your brain and your body know exactly what to do to keep you alive. So you react often in the same way that you always do, repeating the same old patterns of responses.
12:29
All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna explain this with an example. I live in Indiana, which means in the winter, it snows - or it used to snow when the climate was different. So when you're sledding, when you're sledding, and you start at the top of the hill, and nobody's been out, it's like fresh snow. And you put your sled down, you don't go very far, you like you might go like, five or 10 feet, not very far, okay, because there's not a path there. So you go again, on the same path, and you just keep squishing the snow down to make the trail. And by the time you get going, you can fly down the hill and go really far. Your brain is just like that, it's going to stay on the same path, and the more times you do it, the faster it goes down the hill, and the further it will go. So what I do as a coach is I help you make a different path. This is called neuroplasticity. It's super nerdy stuff. Okay, so this is, like, super nerdy, you guys, I totally, like get geeked out about this stuff. So imagine your brain like reaching out and finding other things that it understands and is familiar with. So that can be buddies with the other parts, we create new paths and new buddies for your brain, so that it has a different way to react. All right, so what I teach in coaching is how to really identify that very first feeling of your anxiety, like when you're anxious, so we can start making a new sledding path.
14:03
Make sense? So another way for you to think about what's going on inside your brain and inside your body, like when that alarm goes off is burnt toast. If you think about you're at your house, and you're making toast, and the smoke alarm goes off, and the toast is like charred black and the toaster caused the smoke alarm to go off. It wasn't a house fire. It was just burnt toast. But the alarm goes off either way. Do you understand what I'm saying there. It doesn't matter that there was nothing wrong, the alarm is still going off. That's what's happening in your brain when you feel anxious.
14:47
So, I hear a lot of the same things from people who really struggle with anxiety and one of the things well, two of the things I've heard are one I was born this way I just I can't help it. You don't want my mom was anxious, my grandma was anxious everybody in my family is anxious. So that's just who I am. And the other one is, I've tried everything and it doesn't matter, it's just not going to go away. Both of those things are not true. So is it possible that you are wired to be anxious? Maybe I mean, you've got an amygdala. So you've got a caveman, right? Or really, maybe not. Because the studies have shown that only about 30 to 40% of anxiety is predisposition or genetic. So you might have a gene for anxiety, that could totally be true. Your mom might have had anxiety, your grandma might have had anxiety, or your dad or your uncle, and you might have a gene. But if that gene doesn't ever get activated for you, you could be wired for worrying, and never ever experience this. Or you could have had a really traumatic event and developed it and not have the gene at all. Having that gene or not having that gene isn't the problem. And it doesn't have to be a problem. Even if you are anxious. Okay, that gene is just a thing. Okay, that is that's just a circumstance, it doesn't mean that you're screwed. The problem is not the anxiety. Anxiety in itself is very, very normal. Your brain is just doing its job. And thank goodness, because it's a good thing we can get back on the curb before we get hit by the bus. It is the reaction that we create to the anxiety that is the problem. It's when we think the house is on fire, because we burnt the toast.
16:44
And this is really why I think you're probably listening to this podcast right now. It's really because you just want to calm down your reaction to the anxiety so that you know, how you feel, and how you can stop the thoughts and start feeling better. Because when push comes to shove, if we could just stop it, it would be fine. I mean, obviously, it doesn't feel good, it's uncomfortable. But if I'm being honest, there's a lot of things in life that aren't comfortable, that really make us better people. All growth is uncomfortable. And learning how to let those feelings be in your body and not mean anything at all, is a superpower. It's just your thoughts about what about how your body feels and what's going on. And that's the key is to get really familiar with how you feel in your body. And what it makes your brain say. If you have the fear of fear, and the way that you respond to the anxiety, or the fear of being anxious, is to ask other people if you're okay, or to Google things, or to jump into a Facebook group and say Has anyone else experienced this? Or to hideaway in your house and avoid all the things that make you anxious? All you are doing is telling the caveman Yes, you are correct, we definitely need to avoid that. You're just reinforcing the fear. You're sticking to the same sledding path. You are believing the burnt toast all of my ridiculous examples, because it's easy and it feels safer. And the key here and this whole thing is to change your reaction. Your brain is giving you 110% of its very best work! Like it is if you picture a green laser like Mission Impossible coming out of your head and scanning around you at all times, like it's trying to find the intruder. That's what's going on your brain has always got that like laser focus looking for anything dangerous. And when that caveman thinks that something is dangerous, even when it's made up, your body reacts with the adrenaline, the cortisol, the epinephrine and it makes you feel it makes you feel anxious. It makes your heart beat fast. It makes you sweaty. It makes you not be able to think clearl. It makes your throat feel tight. It makes your stomach turn or hurt. It can make you have all kinds of digestion issues. It can make your arms and legs tingle. It can do the weirdest things you can ever imagine. And when you believe that those feelings and your body mean something, then your brain will offer up whatever it thinks is happening. And when you believe the thoughts, you get more of those hormones, and then when you believe the feeling you get more of the thoughts. And it just creates a cycle. And in fact, the best thing that you can do actually is nothing which I know is a really big ask right? So imagine feeling your body is like pumped up to wrestle a T Rex Sorry, you're not gonna outrun a cheetah, something insane. This is what your brain is prepping for.
20:06
So my question for you that I want you to think about is, can you currently sit in those feelings? Without them meaning anything? Can you tolerate the discomfort in your body, even when the thoughts try to back it up and do nothing? It is not easy. It's not easy. If it were, you'd already be doing it. Make no mistake, I fell into this trap for 30 years. But it is incredibly simple, because you literally have to do nothing. And you can totally do it. Like, if I learned to do it, you can do it. That's why I'm here. I would not be making this podcast, I would not be coaching people who are anxious if I wasn't doing it myself. I'm not telling you I never feel anxious anymore. That would be a total lie.
20:55
So this is really something that I work on with coaching clients all the time is getting comfortable with those uncomfortable feelings. And those thoughts that back it up. But for right now, for right now, I just want to take pause because that was really heavy. I want you to understand that. It's totally normal, to feel anxious, it's safe. It's healthy. It is your brain doing exactly what it's supposed to do. And it's easy. It's so easy to think that something is broken or wrong, and you're freaking out over how you feel and doing all these things to feel better, but you're already safe and absolutely nothing is wrong. All right, you are safe. Nothing is wrong.
21:42
Okay, this week, I want you to really get curious about where in your body you first notice anxiety for me, it's in my forearms. It just is like they feel fuzzy or fuzzy and heavy, and kind of hot. And then my hands feel weird. That's where I noticed it first. And then I noticed it in my solar plexus. Pay attention to that feeling and just call it out like this feeling in my forearms, grrr, it's anxiety again, just tell your brain right away that you're on to this caveman's game. And then nothing. Let your forearms fizz or your throat feel tight or your heartbeat fast or whatever. And just realize, Oh, I'm anxious. And right away, you've taken a step to cut off that spiral. Now I'm not saying it's gonna stop instantly the first time you do it, I am...No, I'm not saying that. Okay, but that's the first step that you can start taking is just getting just getting really familiar with how your body feels. But now you have the background information to know what the heck is going on in there to make it feel that way. It's not a heart attack. It's no. It's adrenaline. Of course, your heart is beating faster, you have to outrun a cheetah. You don't need to digest your lunch right now you need to wrestle a T Rex. That's all that's happening. For me, that was a game changer. Because I understood why I felt the way I felt.
23:20
All right, I hope this cleared up any question about what's going on, and that you can like really spend some time getting familiar with the crappiness that is how your body feels. And this week, just go to the show notes and download 10 ways to ground yourself. It's there. It's gonna give you all kinds of different ways that you can center yourself, bring yourself back into the present moment and out of your head so that you can really start processing things.
23:47
And of course, if you're ready to talk about coaching, if you're like, "You know what, I can't do this by myself. I've been trying for years, and I haven't moved anywhere." Or, "Megan, I don't even know where to start. And it's so big and hard. And I just can't." Yeah, awesome. Okay, that's why I'm here. Let's talk, you can actually go to 10,000swords.com. And you can schedule a consultation. It's free, we hang out we talk on the phone about you and everything that you feel and think and want, and we see if coaching is the right next step. Maybe it is. Maybe it's not, but there's only one way to find out.
24:27
Thanks for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
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