I do my best thinking in the shower.
Friend, maybe its just me but I swear my greatest intuition and divine connections show up as I'm shaving my legs or conditioning my hair. I'm soaking wet with no paper available and I get these great ideas that usually go down the drain with the bubbles. However every once in awhile those ideas stick with me, so here I am writing this today before I get distracted by life and forget again. And honestly, the simple fact that I remembered something after drying off must mean this is an important message to get out to you, right?
Yesterday, my oldest baby boy who is no longer a baby but almost 22 years old, moved out with a bed - which, in my mom brain totally means it's official; he moved out. As proud as I am of him, and yes, I know this is what we raise our kids to do, my heart is a little sad. Every year at this time, I see my kids growing up, leveling up, becoming amazing humans, and things are equal parts exciting and heavy. I'm feeling a little anxious about where I am in the scheme of things and hoping I spent enough time with them, taught them how to do adult things, and screwed their heads on straight enough: their hearts I never question.
As I laid down to try to sleep last night, I couldn't help shedding a few tears as my mind raced in anxious exhaustion. I knew I absolutely needed to reset my brain if I was going to get out of this tailspin that happens when my mind starts down the rabbit hole of scary stories. I needed to seek the truth and set the record straight - STAT!
Do you know this feeling? You're laying in bed and your mind starts creating scenarios that neither exist, nor are likely but they grab your attention so quickly that your body reacts, leaving you full of energy - the LAST thing you need to fall asleep! I followed my own advice, calmed myself down, and ended up sleeping like a baby.
Flash back to this morning when I was in the shower, and realized that this amazing adult that I raised is making his own decisions for his own life. He is smart, capable, healthy, and incredibly grounded in his beliefs and choices. I can wish and want different things for him all day long but he will do and should do what he knows is best. This is precisely this point where I realized I can absolutely trust him in these decisions and miss the five-year-old little munchkin at the same time.
As parents, we do our best to instill the values that are important for our children as they grow into functioning, fantastic adults. We teach them manners, how to clean their rooms, right and wrong, and the how to take care of themselves. While everyone does things differently, we are all aiming for a similar target: raising adults who are able to make choices that allow them to live life to the fullest while being admirable humans.
But what about you? When you look at the effort you put into making your life as memorable and magical as possible for your kids, do you go all in at the same level you did when you were momming? What I mean is, are you making choices that allow YOU to live life to the fullest in the same way you want your kids to live?
Are you growing?
Are you taking care of your body, mind, and spirit?
Are you taking healthy risks that set your heart on fire and give you energy?
Do you play and have fun?
Or, are you skating through your life on autopilot doing the "have to's" the "should's" and the ho-hum day-to-day basics while that secret dream glimmers somewhere in the back of your mind a little less brightly everyday?
You see friend, habits are created to serve us in a moment. Whether they are good or bad habits, we created them, often without much thought but in times of need. There also comes a time for us to let go of our old habits and embrace new ideas and new habits!
This is where I landed a few years ago as I prepared for this same little boy to go off to college.
I began making new habits and changing things up in my life. I saw where I was and it definitely wasn't where I wanted to or intended to be. I had invested so much time, money and energy into being a mom that I forgot to grow into the person I knew deep down I was meant to be.
Not too long ago, it really sunk into my head that EVERYTHING IS A CHOICE.
How you spend your time is a choice.
Where you work is a choice.
How long you work, sleep, or watch TV is a choice.
What you spend money on is a choice.
What you focus on is a choice.
What you allow is a choice.
What you do or don't do is a choice.
How you react to situations is a choice.
Your attitude and even your perception is a choice!
That is an AMAZING amount of power and with great power comes great responsibility. (Thanks Spiderman)
The next time you feel stuck in your life, whether it's in your job, a relationship, your body, or your mental health, remember, YOU HAVE CHOICES!
You can choose how you spend your time. (We all have 24 hours in a day.)
You can choose how you view situations. (Being grateful for having a dog over cleaning up poop.)
You can choose your reaction to a coworker, your spouse, or anyone else.
You can choose what you eat and how you eat.
You can choose to buy another t-shirt, a new iPhone, or invest your money.
You can choose to stay where you are or try a new path.
You can choose to put your health first or to stay comfortably uncomfortable!
What about you? Are you spending all of your resources on everyone and everything else but leaving yourself with the breadcrumbs? Have you lost your glimmer? And what if you don't change your routines that have become habits? Where will you be in 6 months? What about in 5 years? What about when your babies go to college?
What if you allowed yourself just 5 minutes when you finish reading this to imagine yourself making friends, trying new foods, visiting new places, or whatever else you've always said you're going to do "someday".
Next, find a way to make this idea an action and the action a habit. If you need to find money, make it happen. If you need to find time, find time. If you need to clean out junk drawers, grab a trash bag and start cleaning.
What I learned yesterday is that "someday" comes awfully fast sometimes and while I'm a little bit melancholy where I am, I'm also so freaking happy I have chosen to embrace change and live.
If you're not sure where to start or what to change, I'm here to help. You can schedule a consultation and we'll figure it out together. I can help you get to the bottom of what you really want and help you turn that daydream into a reality. Its a POWER HOUR of time that you'll be happy you chose.